I started to scream, but a hand clamped over my mouth.
"Adam?" I mumbled.
"Yes, you know you're not supposed to be in the forest after dark." he said with a hit of disapproval appearing on his face.
I pointed to his hand, indicating that I wanted him to let go. He took away his hand so I could speak.
"And your point is" I replied smiling.
We have been best friends for years, ever since we were babies. He rolled his eyes.
"Your mother sent me out to get you" he said "She's worried"
"Yeah, I was pretty sure she might be, that's why I was headed home." I smiled.
Adam was like my brother, very protective. Even though I thought I was stronger than the two of us. We both had just turned 16 within the last few months. He had brown hair and the cutest smile. I had brown hair too, mine was really long. Most people though we were brother and sister anyway.
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Comments
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I love Patrick Hall more than we will ever know...
True love starts with a kiss.
DAMN IT!!!!! I lost a penny
Now what?
Ok fix this:
I had brown hair too, but mine was long. Most people though we were brother and sister anyway.
Even though I was the stronger of the two
Fix this:
Either take this out or put Even though I thought I was stronger than the two of us.
Also you must do somthing about the diloge on both. Start a new paragraph ever time a new person speaks.
Keep workin on it
--
I love Patrick Hall more than we will ever know...
True love starts with a kiss.
DAMN IT!!!!! I lost a penny
--
I love Patrick Hall more than we will ever know...
True love starts with a kiss.
DAMN IT!!!!! I lost a penny
"Adam?" I mumbled.
"Yes, you know you're not supposed to be in the forest after dark." he said with a hit of disapproval appearing on his face.
I pointed to his hand, indicating that I wanted him to let go. He took away his hand so I could speak.
"And your point is" I replied smiling.
We have been best friends for years, ever since we were babies. He rolled his eyes.
"Your mother sent me out to get you" he said "She's worried"
"Yeah, I was pretty sure she might be, that's why I was headed home." I smiled.
Adam was like my brother, very protective. Even though I thought I was stronger than the two of us. We were only 14, and freshman. He had brown hair and the cutest smile. I had brown hair too, but mine was long. Most people though we were brother and sister anyway.
Oh by the way I noticed as I was fixing this, 86 the commas. You don't need to put those in between the last word and quotes.
Keep it up
--
I love Patrick Hall more than we will ever know...
True love starts with a kiss.
DAMN IT!!!!! I lost a penny
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